What if no one is ahead of you?
- Hey Sally!
- Apr 30
- 2 min read
Comparison can steal more than a whole day if you let it. It can really steal your life. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.
Not just because of social media, although that certainly doesn’t help. I think comparison starts much earlier than that. I remember, as a little girl on playdates, feeling jealous that my friend had the real Barbie and the pink car while I was stuck with the fake Barbie who had frizzy brown hair and whose feet didn’t fit into her shoes.
What saved me was curiosity, creativity and my own fury.
As a champion of underdogs, I made Skipper, Barbie’s younger sister, the star. I designed clothes for her and put Barbie, with her uncombed hair and no shoes, in the backseat of my friend’s pink car.
But comparison has a dark side, and we all know it. It turns into jealousy fast. It becomes that awful feeling that somehow somebody else got a better version of life and you missed your turn.
I can relate to that as I get closer to releasing my first book.
Most of you know me from fashion. I spent decades in that world. I knew it better than anything. Writing a book has brought me into a completely new industry, and I am still finding my footing in it.
It is a vulnerable place to be.
And I think any time we are growing, any time we are expanding beyond the version of ourselves people already know, comparison can get louder.
I can feel totally rooted in confidence, check Instagram, and within minutes start believing that somebody else’s polished post has a better strategy, better marketing, and that somehow I made a mistake.
It is insidious.
I am not always conscious of it at first. I just know I start to feel bad.
That is usually my cue to put the phone down, go outside, take a break, make a call, and remember why I wrote the book.
Social media does have its gifts, even though I still struggle with it. It connects us to friends and family, introduces us to new people, and gives us a way to share what we care about, including the book. But I am still learning how to be there without getting pulled too far away from myself.
There is so much more to us than what can ever fit inside a screen. We are full human beings, and social media shows only a sliver.
For me, it is a practice. If the whole point of life is that we keep growing and realizing who we truly are, that we are magnificent beings made from love and joy and meant to share that with each other, then comparison begins to ease up. Not all at once, but enough to come back home to ourselves.
What helps me most is getting back into service. Service quiets the need to prove, perform, or measure. And in that return, I remember that Love has been woven through and guiding me all along.
Sally’s Weekly Reminder
“Comparison pulls us away from ourselves.
Love brings us back.”
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